TheTorque's World of MPJ

worthless

thetorque — Tue, 18 May 2010 09:21:45 +0000

I wish my life ends today…

Quantum Optics

thetorque — Tue, 11 May 2010 07:19:39 +0000

Sitting on my table is the Quantum Optics book by Fox. I don’t know why I feel like if I want to pass EE 236A then I probably have to read the whole book (in 2 days?). Sometimes you don’t feel like you learn anything at all in a class and I don’t know really why I decided to stay in the class. I always think that grade doesn’t mean anything but exactly the reason why I didn’t drop it was because of the grade. Well, not quite because I really need credits but not grade.

Anyhow, I will we done with the classes soon. However, to force myself to be as productive as it can be, I decide to take at least one class a semester. Is that a good idea? Again, I don’t know. There are many things that I don’t know in my life. I don’t know that everything I have done is the best possible thing or not. You can’t actually ask that question. You know, you always move forward (in time). So it doesn’t matter if it’s the best way or not. You just do. Or you don’t. It’s that simple.

To the promise land

thetorque — Tue, 04 May 2010 09:19:27 +0000

So here we go… I think you can’t have a second chance for “spontaneous” writing. I can’t remember what I wrote before I forgot to save it. Until then… keep wondering what’s in my head… oh yes… keep on living.

Pokrovsky-Talapov Transition

thetorque — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 06:52:42 +0000

I talked to Ashvin about the presentation a few days ago that I want to do the Frenkel-Kontorova model. Specifically I want to see the Aubry analyticity breaking transition that we are trying to simulate in the lab. He puts on the presentation list the Pokrovsky-Talapov transition. I was a bit confused because I’ve never heard of it. Anyhow, with Google I realized that it’s actually a 2D version of the commensurate-incommensurate transition. Maybe there’s a lot of connection between PT transition and the FK model.

Upon reading the FK model chapter in Chaikin and Lubensky, the phase diagram now makes more sense since the real FK model is harmonic. That means the two particles can sit on top of one another. In the FKI (ion) model, the Coulomb repulsion will keep that from happening. Actually, beside plotting the hull function, can be construction something similar to the phase diagram as in the normal FK model?

Heads up

thetorque — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:51:21 +0000

As I’m trying to always make a good nice start (or another restart), here I am again…

Myself

thetorque — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 06:25:48 +0000

The novel I’m reading now is called “Out.” I ran into one sentence which was quite astonishing to realize that this is the first time I’ve seen it written somewhere not on my mind. Satake thought that “usually hatred was an emotion arising out of the desire to be accepted by another person.”

I’m 21, and this is the first time that something else share that same feeling I have been having for a long time. Why am I like this? Why can’t I be happy like other person. I don’t care if someone says that everyone has his/her own grief. You think you are striving through some adversities. Other people are having that kind of feeling too. How can you know? Saying something like that doesn’t help. It just won’t help. It doesn’t solve any problem that I’m having now.

What is my problem? It’s the hatred exactly described in the sentence appeared above. In my case it might be the problem of being accepted by people and that comprises of more than one, obviously. Then what can I do?

The question that I’ve been asking myself is that whether I chose the right path. Well, we have only one life. Here’s where I want to have more than one life. One for trying and one to really live through. We can’t do that. Life is just merciless. The only thing I can do is to live and live… with whatever you have that prevent you from committing suicide. Yes, the end of life maybe good, but it’s not acceptable as a keen human being. Now the word “ accept” appears again. Do we have to care that much about how other people are thinking of me? Today I saw something that didn’t surprise me at all. But I was thrilled, because the person who said it was someone unexpected.

No word at all for more than 10 seconds. I just want to disappear from this world. I just can’t take it. Why? I don’t know why. Well, maybe I know but I just don’t want to accept it. The only reason is I wasn’t accepted by them. That’s why I have hatred. It’s everywhere in every part of my mind. What can I do?

I can’t do anything but to wait. The only remedy that I have is music. That’s why I didn’t talk and didn’t say anything. I just sit and played a guitar. Jealousy maybe another thing that I’m having. I want to escape. I don’t want to live through all these stuffs anymore. No one can help me and I can’t let anyone knows this. It’s a shameless life. I’m a loser. Yes, I know that. I’m a loser. Whatever you want to call me.

Life is tough. I know that. It’s cruel to know that I don’t have any will to fight anymore. Let it be.

Another Start (again) !!

thetorque — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 06:56:46 +0000

I think this is my third blog. Well, I don’t think I’m really a kind of a serious writer (nor a serious reader). However, I will gain an inspiration from time to time, and I will start doing something similar to this: starting a new blog. I had one at myspace.com (or the MSN one), but I think it doesn’t care much about the Mac user (of course it’s run by Microsoft). I also has another one at my MIT webspace. Anyway, I don’t care. I just want to start a new one.

MPJ simply stands for “Music Physics and Japanese.” Well, after a 21-year search of my life, I finally pinned down my interest into only three (quite big) things or categories. I think the first one is the most important. By the time I lose my hearing (hope it’s not soon), I think will have fulfilled my goal of human being then.

Let’s see how far I can go with this blog.

Hello world!

thetorque — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 06:43:59 +0000

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!